The Onion

Annika Sorenstam Has Another Remarkable Year For A Lady

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Annika Sorenstam, the absolutely adorable doll of golf's lighter, gentler side, and a true lady who has absolutely charmed ladies' golf fans since joining the always-heartwarming Ladies' Professional Golf Association Tour in 1994, capped off another sensational 10-victory year and became the first lady in history to win two straight ADT Championships For Ladies.

Miss Sorenstam, hitting from the ladies' tee throughout the tournament, finished with a 6-under 282 for a two-stroke ladies' victory, just barely holding off little ladies Soo-Yun Kang, Michele Redman, and Lisolette Neumann. "I thought I had a chance to catch up to her, but there was no stopping that lady today," Neumann said. "All you can do is lower your eyes demurely, curtsy, and say 'Congratulations, ma'am,' in a meek tone of voice befitting a lady."

Sweeping all the major lady-awards for a fifth year and moving within 22 ladies' wins of the all-time ladies' record, Miss Sorenstam is carving out her place in ladies' history alongside legendary golfers such as Nancy Lopez and Kathy Whitworth, both also ladies.
Miss Sorenstam, who took up the sport of ladies' golf when she was just a little lady at 12 years old, has been a feminine golfing inspiration to a whole new generation of ladies, including young lady Michelle Wie and ladies' tour rookie Paula Creamer, whose play proves her a lady despite her brief, unladylike tiff with Miss Sorenstam over an 18th-hole drop in the ladies' first round of the ADT Championship.
As the lady champion, Miss Sorenstam is expected to reap her proportional rewards. In addition to her career earnings of over $2.5 million—a fraction of Tiger Woods' $40 million-plus once thought unimaginable—male golf insiders expect Miss Sorenstam to receive attention from sponsors such as ladies-wear companies, ladies' hygiene product manufacturers, and other markets of which regular golfers are ignorant or only dimly aware.
"She has proven that the ladies can play golf just like men, if not, of course, actually with men," Professional Golf Association Tour executive vice president Edward L. Moorhouse said of Miss Sorenstam, who in 2003 became the first lady to play on the real PGA Tour since true ladies' lady Babe Didrikson Zaharias, the grande dame [big lady] of golf, did so in 1945. "This lady golfer truly deserves our admiration in the form of the highest honor men can grant her: the honorary title 'First Lady Of Golf.'"
Of course, Sorenstam's honors will include a polite and proper phone call from Laura Bush, the First Lady of the United States, who will offer not only her congratulations but those of her husband George, the leader of the free world.
"You're welcome to drop by the big tour and play a round or two with the men any time you like, little lady," Moorhouse added. "As long as it's not a big event, or someplace like Augusta, that bastion of golf tradition where ladies are not allowed."

SOX WIN!!!!!

More Later....

(If you were wondering why I haven't posted in a while then you don't know me very well...)

More Putin...

Link: Putin Confronts US with Threat to Arms Pact. Tony Halpin, London Times 10-13-07.

Papelbon + Dropkick Murphys

Victory Parade

S-Chip Article

I like the way Fred Barnes capsulizes the new S-chip legislation.

Link: S-chip of Fools. Fred Barnes, The Weekly Standard 10-08-07.

Torre Gone?

As I type this entry, The Yankees are down 6-1 to in Indians in game and facing elimination. While I would normally be giddy with their situation, I can't help but feel bad for Joe Torre. Even the most devout Yankee Hater must admit they have a soft spot for Joe. Lets face it, he's a likable guy (much like Jeter - a guy I hate merely for his choice in laundry).

One would think that Cashman's head will roll as well as Torre's.

Others likely to go:

Rivera
Posada
Pettitte
A-Fraud
Rocket

There is a fair chance that Yankees Stadium has hosted it's last post season game as its scheduled to be replaced after next season. (Thanks, again, to JW Henry for recognizing what a colossal mistake it would be to move out of Fenway Park!)

Beckett Brilliant in Game 1

108 pitches, 83 strikes 8 K's and ZERO runs in a complete game shutout against the American League West Champion, LA Angels.

It's been a joy to watch the evolution of Josh Beckett over the past two seasons. He arrived in Beantown a damn-the-torpedoes fastballer who treated his second and third pitch like runners-up at the Miss America pageant - only to be used if #1 should fall from grace.

Beckett was a stubborn student. In 2006, seemingly convinced that his fastball was like no other, he continued rely on that one pitch. Subsequently, he gave up 37 home runs as AL sluggers taught him a valuable lesson - you don't grade without a curve.

In 2007, Beckett arrived at camp with a curve...and slider. To accompany his new arsenal of pitches, he adopted an entirely overhauled mindset.

No longer a reckless kid, Beckett finally understands what it takes to be a big league pitcher. It's there. You can see it in his eyes. Pitch and catch...nothing else.

"I was just out there trying to execute pitches until somebody takes the
ball out of my hand and the game's over," Beckett said after his masterpiece. "I
never got ahead of myself. It was always one pitch at a time. It didn't matter
what was going on. They hit some balls at some guys and I was fortunate."

Link: Gem by Beckett has Boston Pumped. Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe 10-4-07.

I think I Called This One...

Link: Vladimir Putin Proposes Job Swap on Top to Tighten His Grip on Power. Tony Halpin, London Times 10-1-07.

The Apocalypse is Near

2007 NCAA Football Rankings - Week 5 (Sept. 30)
AP Top 25
1. LSU (33) 5-0 1,593
2. USC (32) 4-0 1,591
3. California 5-0 1,475
4. Ohio State 5-0 1,420
5. Wisconsin 5-0 1,271
6. South Florida 4-0 1,203
7. Boston College 5-0 1,172
8. Kentucky 5-0 1,143
9. Florida 4-1 1,031
10. Oklahoma 4-1 992
11. South Carolina 4-1 900
12. Georgia 4-1 885
13. West Virginia 4-1 861
14. Oregon 4-1 837

Congrats to Matt!

Matt Miller signed a two year contract with Siroki Primo Piva in Bosnia today. The Adriatic League will be a huge challenge for him. The league boasts some quality domestic talent peppered with a few ex-NBA players.

It's a big step up from England Basketball League Division One but he can play at that level.

I'll link the Eurobasket article as soon as it's available.

Clown* of the Week: Lee Bollinger

Bill Krystol's article sums it up nicely.

Seriously, freedom of speech?....ok, I get it. Today, liberals are flaunting the first ammendment like a trophy wife. Ok....while he certainly CAN be invited to speak at Columbia University doesn't mean that he SHOULD be invited to speak at Columbia. Let this case serve as additional proof to my hypothesis that most university presidents are, in reality, detached elitist clowns.

Link: Columbia University: Ahmadinejad Yes, ROTC No. Bill Kristol, The Weekly Standard 9-20-07.

*Lisa made me change the original title.

Ouch...

Link: Dollar Tumbles to a New Low Against the Euro and 1 to 1 Parity With The Canadian Dollar. Associated Press, 9-20-07.

Cold War 2.0 Update

While the article doesn't always agree with itself, it does act as a comprehensive position paper on the state of modern-day Russia. Along with an elementary history lesson, it projects what the Putin regime sees as the most prudent way forward.

"And he (Putin) is proud of his KGB roots. “There is no such thing as a former Chekist,” he says. It is a revealing remark. The Cheka was the Bolsheviks’ earliest secret police, and Putin is fast declaring his loyalty to the founders of the police state."

Link: Putin's Global Warning. Brian Moynahan, London Times 9-16-07

Clinton made a huge mistake in regard to Russia. His office promoted financial reform for the new Russia which seems harmless on the surface. However, financial reform sans government restructuring was a colossal misstep. A Chekist/KGB/FSB-led Russia with deep pockets is a frightening prospect.

At best, it's a course which must be navigated with care. At worst, it's a potential confrontation with a capricious state who's global enfluence is growing daily. Either way, it's a mess which must not be ignored.

Prediction: Putin will be back in the driver's seat in 2012 (if not sooner).

UK 40 UofL 34

After drawing the shortest straw in the UofL locker room at halftime, Brian Brohm reluctantly calls Bobby Petrino begging him to return to Louisville.

Here's Whitey

If you aren't familiar with the story of James "Whitey" Bulger and his place in mob history, I would encourage you to take a look at this article.

Link: FBI Posts Pictures of Possible Whitey Bulger Sighting in Italy. Shelley Murphy, Boston Globe 9-14-07.

Give'em Hell, Rudy!!!

I know it's Truman's slogan but he doesn't need it anymore!



Link: Rudy Wants the Same Rate! Michael Godfarb, The Weekly Standard 9-13-07.

Let the Trash Talking Begin

It is being reported in Louisville that UofL Head Coach Steve Kragthorpe will only dress 20 players for this weekend's rivalry game against UK......the other players will have to dress themselves.

What do you get if you drive slowly through the UofL campus? A Degree.

How many UofL freshman does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. That's a 200 level course.

Why do UofL receivers where wrist bands? To keep the handcuffs from chaffing.

How do you get a UofL grad off your doorstep? Pay him for the pizza.

Finally...why do UofL students go to movie theatres in packs of 18? Because 17 and under and not admitted.

KGB Ties

For those who feel our President has too much power...

"The main question as to who would be his successor became a bit clearer today when Putin dissolved the entire government."

Link: Changing of the Guard: Moscow Style. Reuben Johnson, The Daily Standard 9-12-07

I seem to be spending a lot more time examining the political landscape in Russia these days. At times, it's comedy. Other times, it's chilling. In spite of the type of drama only Aaron Spelling could produce (i.e., over-the-top story lines and, at the same time, wildly predictable), Russia remains the #1 oil producer in the world and they are in the Nuclear Club; therefore, they get our attention.

Peter Feaver Sums It Up

Good read from the Boston Globe. In my opinion, comparing MoveOn.org to Joe McCarthy does the former Senator no justice. Move-on is an unprincipled and deceitful lot. Please ask your local democratic party leaders if they support MoveOn.org and their attempted character assassination of General Petraeus. It's shameful, really.

Link: MoveOn's McCarthy Moment, P Feaver, Boston Globe 9-11-07

Putin is Putting the Band Back Together

Sabre rattling in the North Sea. When should we start paying attention to this???...

Link: RAF Intercepts Eight Russian Bombers As Putin Provokes West. M. Evans & T. Halpin, London Times 9-06-07

Putin is due to step down in the fall of 08 courtesy of the Russian Federation's term limit policy. Will it happen???...

Michigan Makes Primary Move Official

....wow. I know losing to Appalachian State was embarrassing but don't you think this is a tad drastic???....

Actually, it's easy to understand exactly why Gov. Granholm has been pushing for this move. The economy in Michigan, Detroit specifically, is dire. If you subscribe to the "any press is good press" axiom, it's a brilliant move. Two and a half hours of primetime exposure, while it will surely paint a grim picture, will get the nation's attention.

Link: Michigan Makes Primary Move Offical. M Shear, Washington Post 9-4-07

Unlikely Hero Stops the Bleeding for the Sox

Clay Buchholz looks like he should be fetching beers for me at the Sigma Chi house during alumni weekend. Instead, this young lad skipped pledging entirely and became a full-fledged member of the Red Sox fraternity last night at Fenway.

After rocking Nick Marakis to sleep with a 77 MPH breaking ball to end the game, Buchholz was mobbed by his teammates. The little guy had tossed a no hitter in his second career start.


Link: Second To None. G. Edes, Boston Globe 9-2-07

UK ROLLS OVER EKU

To make the night even better for me and Jordi, UK blasted EKU 50-10. So this is what it feels like to have a good football team???.... The giant killers, Kent State, will be a tough match-up next week but it's hard to not look past them. A date with little brother is looms just over the horizon.

Also, for those of you playing at home, Jordi is now 11 for 11 in Jumbotron appearances per game. Next week, we hope to have pictures as I attempt to pull off the double - Jordi AND Caroline on the big screen at the same time!

Link: Runaway Cats. C. Cosby, Herald-Leader 9-2-07

Emerson College does it again!

First, let me start by pointing out that my time at Emerson College made up some of the best moments of my life. EC is a great place! It sits in the heart of Boston Proper and is the perennial powerhouse in the fields of broadcasting, film, writing, theatre and other communication-based educational programming. That being said, EC is much different than anything I had experienced while cutting my teeth down south. Here's a shining example of what I'm talking about.

Link: Emerson Makes Restrooms Gender Neutral. E. Canal, Boston Globe 9-1-07.

Any desire I had for my girls to attend EC has been flushed down the gender-neutral toilet.

Back in the saddle

After riding along the scenic byway of 30a, it was really tough to mount up and hit the streets of my hometown. Florida really spoiled me; the roads were rolling, drivers were understanding, and the scenery was breathtaking....it was perfect for riding. Considering some of my recent rides at home, it was a much needed change.

Yesterday, I rode the 29th street loop. Its an 11 mile (x2) trip beginning with a steady incline of about 4 miles - enough to burn all the matches of my "lactate threshold" matchbook according to my cycling coach/4 time national masters champion/sister-in-law, Renee Eastman. I had planned to do intervals but didn't have the discipline.

I intend to ride the the town loop in Lexington Saturday morning to counter the tailgating overindulgence planned for that night. I'm taking my oldest daughter, Jordana, to the UK v. EKU football game as an early birthday present...she turns 4 Sunday!!

Prediction #1: UK by 24

Prediction#2: We take a cab back to the Lexington house.

Beatdown in the Bronx

Yanks swept the Sox in three straight at Yankee Stadium. Now, the AL East lead is reduced to 5 as Boston limps back to Fenway for a 3 game trot against the Or-E-aou's (I can't type in Baltimorese). Meanwhile down I-95, the bombers get to beat up on a JV team for the next three days. The Boston-NY series two weeks from now could potentially determine the Division championship.

Will Manny be back from his "Oblique Strain" by then???....

Government-Managed Healthcare

Anyone who believes government-managed health care is the best way forward should take a look at this article from Benjamin Day of the Boston Globe. After living in England and serving as witness to their National Health care Service (NHS), I would encourage one to reconsider any plan which calls for the federal government to oversee your health care needs.

Link: The Dark Side of Health care Reform, B. Day - Boston Globe 8-30-07

Voice of reason or last on the bus???? You decide.

"The stock market, somebody once said, has accurately predicted nine of the past three recessions."

A good read from the London Times. Call me an optimist, but I'm in Mr. Baker's corner.

Now Historical Reason Why Recent Turmoil Should Spark A Recession. G Baker, London Times 8-21-07

Yankees 4 Red Sox 3

It was a frustrating game to watch.

Beckett pitched a solid game. Usually you wouldn't say such a thing when a pitcher hands off the ball in the middle of the 7th after giving up 13 hits and 4 earned runs...but its the Yankees.

Although it lacks some of the name recognition of years' past, New York's batting order is as stupefying as any in MBL history..when they are on. Pitching against the Yankees is much like commercial crab fishing on the Bering Straight; no matter how big the last wave was, there is another headed directly towards your bow...and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Why was it so frustrating to watch?...because you knew they weren't coming back. Everytime the Sox needed a big hit, it was Drew, Henske, Crisp or Lugo at the plate. I know Manny's "oblique strain" put the sox at a disadvantage, but the 2004 Sox - The World Series Champion Sox - would have found a way.

This team seems to be missing something....

No, not him....Not him either... YES!!!...

Double YES!!! Nixon and Millar had their faults (Nixon's injuries and Millar's Karaoke) but both gave you a fighter's chance - They could change the game with one swing. You could even throw Orlando Cabrera into the the mix - like'em or not, those guys were looking for a fight.

We spent last week on the beaches of South Walton County, Fl. The weather, although dreadfully hot in the afternoons, was perfect for early morning riding. While I kept the Bianchi on the road, I was able to get my hands on a Townie and ride the 30a Bike Trail.

I took some pictures while riding....literally.

Kobe Records His First Career Assist!!!!

Seriously, I know they're playing a bunch of tomato cans but this team looks STRONG.

...and before you Coach K fans start tooting his horn, all credit should rightfully be directed at Mr. Jason Kidd. His "pass first" game has infected everyone on this team....even Kobe!

Way to go Kentucky!!!!

We moved down two positions on the "Fattest States" report....from 5th to 7th. Congrats to Mississippi for holding down the pole position two years in a row.

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts chipped in with a 49.